The Art of the Shart: How Bad Vendors Win Big Contracts - Paperback

by Pat C. Hawkschild (Author)

What if the worst vendors... are actually the most successful?

Welcome to The Art of the Shart-a brutally honest, laugh-out-loud satire on how bad vendors don't just survive... they thrive.

If you've ever sat through a meeting wondering how things went so wrong while everyone kept nodding like it was going great, then this book is for you.

This is not a guide to doing great work.
This is a guide to looking like you're doing great work.

Based on over 20 years of real-world experience (unfortunately), this book pulls back the curtain on the subtle, strategic, and sometimes absurd tactics used by vendors who:

- Miss deadlines-but control the narrative
- Replace progress with meetings
- Turn confusion into "alignment"
- Deliver less... while billing more
- And somehow walk away with contract renewals

Inside, you'll discover the art of:

• Saying "next week" with confidence

• Creating complexity where none exists

• Deflecting responsibility across teams

• Redefining success in real time

• Winning awards... that you created

...and so much more.

This book is satire.
Mostly.

Because while the tone is humorous, the patterns are real-and once you see them, you can't unsee them.

Whether you're a vendor, a client, or someone stuck in the middle of a never-ending project that feels suspiciously like a dumpster fire, this book will have you laughing, nodding, and occasionally questioning everything.

Perfect for:

• Anyone who has worked with vendors

• Anyone who is a vendor

• Anyone who has ever heard the phrase "we should have that next week"

Read it for the laughs.
Keep it for the survival guide.

Professional confidence. Zero results.